Ireland: The Abortion War

I am a proud Irish woman with 3 beautiful children. My first child was a surprise. We were engaged and due to marry in a few months but he was a very welcome surprise. When he was one, we weren’t  exactly careful and I became pregnant on my daughter. 5 years later, we planned and had our third child. 

2 of my children were not exactly planned but we were in a stable place financially and had a house to call our own. Abortion was never something that crossed my mind as something I would ever need to avail of. Until now.

Ireland: Woman Shaming

I won’t go into our deep history of shaming women who found themselves pregnant out of wedlock, rape, or otherwise. These women forced into hiding in the past and their babies removed from them causing them endless hardship. They were treated as criminals and exiled from their own families. In a country so heavily influenced by the Catholic Church, many accepted this as the norm. Shaming women was the norm.

Today in Ireland

Right now as you read this, there are women travelling to the UK to have an abortion. Women like me. Women like you. There may be a woman who has been told that her child will be severely disabled when he/she is born and will have an extremely low quality of life. She has to travel to abort the feotus. There may be a 15 year old girl travelling with her mother who made a mistake. There may be a lonely woman who was raped and pregnant with her rapist’s child. There may be a woman already with children who financially cannot see how she could have another. 

There are so many different women that are forced to go to the UK. They don’t see any other option because they cannot give the life inside them the life they deserve on the outside. 

Pro Life

I always thought of myself as pro life. Right now women of Ireland are begging to repeal the 8th amendment to allow abortion in Ireland. I do not know all the facts on this. Before the media storm around repeal the 8th, I always thought that prevention avoids the need for abortion. I thought a woman that couldn’t see how she could give the baby inside her the life it deserves could give that baby up for adoption. I also believe that a life is a life. There is a life there once conceived and I don’t know how anyone can terminate such a life. But do you know what? I’m not the person doing it. 

It’s not me

I am not travelling to the UK to have an abortion. I am not the one that has to deal with it. There are women out there who need the choice. It’s only recently that I’ve changed my views. What if my daughter got pregnant at 14? What if I got pregnant in 5 years? What if the option to choose was not there? It doesn’t mean I would have an abortion but it gives the choice! I want my daughters to have the choice, I want women to have the choice. 

Repeal the 8th

Take care,

Reality Mammy xxx

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The sleep deprived Mombie

“Kiss your children good night, even if they are already asleep” – H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Oh how I’d love to do that! Maybe with the older two, yes you can manage to tuck them in and give them a little kiss. A baby? No. A baby that is testing your survival skills? Most certainly not. I don’t know where I heard the word Mombie coined first but it’s the most accurate description of what I have been going through. I got 2 hours broken sleep Saturday night and I was up from 5am. I don’t know where I found energy from (crisps and chocolate) but I managed to get through the day full of beans! It’s amazing how little sleep you can actually survive on.

As I type this my sweet angelic little baby girl is giving out from her cot. She’s not crying, she is merely making sure her voice is heard. She is not difficult to settle in the evenings but she wakes at night, a hell of a lot. I’ve tried it all, sleep training, cuddling, feeding but it’s all fruitless. I long for a good nights sleep. I have to say my patience is phenomenal with Baby. My other 2, I was more like a drill sergeant. They had to sleep, they weren’t getting a bottle and I let them cry it out.

Continue reading

Welcome to Reality, Mammy

The Intro

Hi everyone. I am not quite sure who would possibly be reading this but we will give it a try anyway! I write a diary and I find it really helpful for my mental wellbeing. So I have decided to jump on the bandwagon and transform my meandering thoughts into a blog. I mean, seriously, I had been writing to myself for years, I might as well actually feel like I am talking to someone!!

The Purpose

The purpose of this blog is my real take on being a parent, a working mother to be precise. I believe I can be quite funny or rather, I think I am funny. Whether that translates or not is a completely different story! I don’t think you will find Google Translate will work for my dishevelled thoughts. Soz! I find that I have these thoughts in my head that I’d love to say out loud at the time but never do. I’d obviously never have the courage. I want to share the realities of being a mother of 3 children and not adhering to any “parenting policy” so to speak. I will curse. You are warned. If you follow me, great! If you are offended by what I say, that’s fine. We can’t all agree on everything now can we? I am not here to criticize anybody or mock any parenting style. I truly believe that whatever works, works and I don’t preach to anyone about what I think they should and shouldn’t do with their children. As long as you are not abusing then, obviously.

The Blogger

I am writing this blog anonymously as I believe that I can be as honest as possible without jeopardising my real world relationships. So a background to me! Who am I etc etc. I am quite boring, honestly. I don’t even know why you are reading this. Go read something else, seriously. I hear that there are loads of cat videos on YouTube which are fucking hilarious. Go there!

OK, you’re obviously still here. I am a woman, incase that wasn’t insanely obvious by now. I am *almost 33 years young. I am married just over 7 years to my husband and we are together 15 years this year. Yes, I met him when I was 18, very young but some things are meant to be! (I will give out about my husband at certain points during this blog I imagine but this is a disclaimer to say, I love my husband with all my heart, really.) We live in Ireland, I will not expand further because let’s face it, it’s a bloody small country. We live in a busy enough town and we own our own negative equity mortgage (yay!). It’s our home so, it’s fine. We aren’t going to be moving anywhere any time soon unless we win the lotto. In that case we would build a house somewhere on the outskirts of where we live now. We have 3 wonderful children of whom this blog will be about mostly. Well, it will be about the lift that I have because of my children. School runs, activities, struggling between work and being a mother. I have 1 boy who is 7 and 2 girls aged 5 and 11 months. The youngest has been the most testing baby of all of them. To be honest, the last 11 months have really knocked me for six. My life has become chaos to say the least. You think, oh having a third child won’t make any difference to our lives as it is at the minute with 2…. think again dumbass. You are so wrong. It’s been bedlam. I’ll explain the chaos of my life in more posts.

I think that in order to *try* to stay anonymous, I won’t be using any real names in my Blog. My husband will from here on in be known as “Husband”. My son as “Son”, daughter as “Daughter” and my youngest daughter as “Baby”. I am sure you can follow that much. I imagine I will divulge about work as well. I work 4 days a week, about an hour’s drive away from where we live. I work in the technology industry. I am not a techie but I do know a good bit. I went to college and I have one of those degree things, somewhere under my bed. I wore a cap and gown to get it, the weather was nice that day actually. We had drinks after 🙂

The Conclusion

Wow, you feel like you’re typing for ages, but you’re really not!!! Sure it will do now for an opening post I think! I shall come back more with my thoughts and scary ideas.

Take Care!

Reality Mammy x