I am a bad mother

There are countless times when I questioned myself. There are countless times when I felt like screaming. There are countless times when I screamed, cried, threw things, shouted, pulled my hair out, wished for a different life. There are countless times when I wanted to turn back time. Then there are countless times that I slapped myself for thinking that way, and for not being present and mindful of my life as it was then. Continue reading

The Temper Trap

We were at a friend’s Halloween party on a Sunday evening. On the way over there, my 6 year old diva started kicking the back of the husband’s chair. She was asked to stop, not once, not twice but three times. She didn’t stop. So on the fourth time, it was shouting at her to stop. Do you know what went through my head right then? I hate shouting at my kids. I really do. But sometimes, they don’t listen and you can’t keep going down the softly softly route. It just doesn’t work! If they listen the first time, then there would be no need for raised voices. She stopped there and then. Continue reading

The Reality of a High Needs Baby

I have a high needs baby. She’s not a baby any more but I will still call her that. Last count I did, she was 16 months. On my first I knew his age down to weeks and days but I really don’t have time for that crap anymore now that I have 3 children.

What is a high needs baby?

If you don’t know what a “high needs” baby is, then you obviously have never had one. This means that you have a very demanding little baby who is very difficult to entertain, feed, keep happy etc. They are constantly asking for attention and possibly do not sleep very well either. There are many different “symptoms” to a high needs baby. Some of the people in the high needs groups call them “dragons”. They call babies that are not high needs “unicorns”. I have had 2 unicorn babies. Then I had a third child and she is my dragon. Continue reading

The one where everyone cries (except Daddy)

Dawn of the Dead (aka Sleep walking Mama)

Sometime around 6:30am, my 13 month old princess was crying from her cot. I swayed downstairs rather clumsily while I tried to adjust my eyes to the morning light. I poured milk into a bottle and threw it into the microwave. I looked out the back window at the blinding sunshine and realised that it was going to be a gorgeous today. However, today is the first day of my period so, scratch that. Continue reading

Let’s have a girls’ night away

Girls NightHere’s the situation. You meet up with some girlfriends over a coffee for like 20 minutes out of your hectic schedule. Some of them have kids and some of them don’t. It’s great to have a bit of chat and a coffee in peace without someone shouting “Mammy, Mammy” or a husband asking where some random item of clothing is that he had 3 months ago. It’s pure bliss getting out to a cafe with the girls.

You know the drill, you’re laughing, you’re reminiscing, you’re trying not to talk about the kids but somehow they get in there. And then someone mentions (probably the childless person), “Hey, we should all go for a night away sometime”. The comment is met with enthusiasm. Continue reading

Having a break from the kids. Intention vs Reality

It was a weekend of arguments with my husband over household duties not being done. It was a weekend of me being a walking grumpy cow to everyone as well. It was a weekend of the house looking like a tornado hit it, a mountain of clothes and toys and dirt on the floor.

I think that my husband suspected that I was about to blow up. I was snapping at the children as well, probably to make him realise even more that I needed a break. I wasn’t dressed at 11am on a Sunday. I was sweating it out in my dressing gown. My husband mentioned that he wanted to go to see his grandparents and I jumped at the chance. Continue reading