Dealing with Questions and Advice after having a baby

The Questions

You’ve just had a new baby and you feel excited, overwhelmed and extremely emotional. If you are a brand new parent, this new world is especially daunting. You just want to do the best you can and you take each day as it comes. This is a completely new world to you and the people around you will offer their help and advice. However, we all know that some of this advice is just horrendous for a new parent to digest. They ask you questions about what way your baby should be behaving and what way your baby should be sleeping or eating. They say that they wouldn’t have done that with their baby and tell you all about how great their own baby is or was. They have the best intentions, but you need to know how to deal with these, mentally. Continue reading

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Never use this word around a new parent

We all know, as mothers, fathers and people with common sense that life with a newborn is extremely difficult. You have sleepless nights, endless feeding as well as questioning your own sanity at the worst of times. You have those days when you wonder if you are doing the right thing or if you are damaging your child because you feel like you’re falling apart. These feelings don’t just happen at a newborn stage, they can lurk up on you when you least expect it. Continue reading

The Strength of a Working Mother

I have worked since I left school. That’s 17 years. I only stopped working outside the home when I was on maternity leave, 3 times. When my first was born, I put him in a crèche, at 5 months old when I went back to work. I had to earn money to contribute to the mortgage, simple as that. I longed to be at home with him but if I wanted to be able to keep a roof over his head, I had to work. Continue reading

The Reality of a High Needs Baby

I have a high needs baby. She’s not a baby any more but I will still call her that. Last count I did, she was 16 months. On my first I knew his age down to weeks and days but I really don’t have time for that crap anymore now that I have 3 children.

What is a high needs baby?

If you don’t know what a “high needs” baby is, then you obviously have never had one. This means that you have a very demanding little baby who is very difficult to entertain, feed, keep happy etc. They are constantly asking for attention and possibly do not sleep very well either. There are many different “symptoms” to a high needs baby. Some of the people in the high needs groups call them “dragons”. They call babies that are not high needs “unicorns”. I have had 2 unicorn babies. Then I had a third child and she is my dragon. Continue reading

The Dark Days after Having a Baby

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I am not a psychologist nor a doctor. I do not have any experience with diagnosing or dealing with mental illness with anyone. However, my expertise comes from a different source, being a mother. I have had 3 children. My children are amazing and they inspire me every day. I love them to bits and I would do anything to protect them and keep them safe. Sometimes, I feel like a failure in more ways than one. Some days are dark, very dark. And I’ve come to realise that I am coming out of the dark days and into a new chapter.

Having my last baby, my beautiful baby girl has been the most testing time of my life. Ever. I love love love her and I can’t get that across enough but I have had a hard time in the last year and it’s now that I’ve decided to put “pen to paper” or “words to blog”. I want to share and hopefully help others to realise that they are not alone in the way that they are feeling. There’s always help out there and it’s OK not to feel OK all of the time.

The Labour Didn’t Go to Plan

I was well aware after having 2 children previously that labour doesn’t go to plan sometimes. Continue reading