I am a bad mother

There are countless times when I questioned myself. There are countless times when I felt like screaming. There are countless times when I screamed, cried, threw things, shouted, pulled my hair out, wished for a different life. There are countless times when I wanted to turn back time. Then there are countless times that I slapped myself for thinking that way, and for not being present and mindful of my life as it was then. Continue reading

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Time waits for no Parent

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It’s  been a while since I’ve blogged. I’ve changed jobs, I’m back working 5 days per week. It’s tough going. I feel like I’m not spending enough time with my kids right now. Trying to pack a week full of me into 2 days is exhausting. I work to provide and I love my job. I want to work and I believe that will always be the case until the day of my retirement. We don’t have the option for me to stay at home a few days a week. I’d love that balance, but right now, it’s not the case. How do I ensure that my children are getting everything they need from their childhood? Continue reading

Dealing with Questions and Advice after having a baby

The Questions

You’ve just had a new baby and you feel excited, overwhelmed and extremely emotional. If you are a brand new parent, this new world is especially daunting. You just want to do the best you can and you take each day as it comes. This is a completely new world to you and the people around you will offer their help and advice. However, we all know that some of this advice is just horrendous for a new parent to digest. They ask you questions about what way your baby should be behaving and what way your baby should be sleeping or eating. They say that they wouldn’t have done that with their baby and tell you all about how great their own baby is or was. They have the best intentions, but you need to know how to deal with these, mentally. Continue reading

The Temper Trap

We were at a friend’s Halloween party on a Sunday evening. On the way over there, my 6 year old diva started kicking the back of the husband’s chair. She was asked to stop, not once, not twice but three times. She didn’t stop. So on the fourth time, it was shouting at her to stop. Do you know what went through my head right then? I hate shouting at my kids. I really do. But sometimes, they don’t listen and you can’t keep going down the softly softly route. It just doesn’t work! If they listen the first time, then there would be no need for raised voices. She stopped there and then. Continue reading

Ireland: The Abortion War

I am a proud Irish woman with 3 beautiful children. My first child was a surprise. We were engaged and due to marry in a few months but he was a very welcome surprise. When he was one, we weren’t  exactly careful and I became pregnant on my daughter. 5 years later, we planned and had our third child. 

2 of my children were not exactly planned but we were in a stable place financially and had a house to call our own. Abortion was never something that crossed my mind as something I would ever need to avail of. Until now.

Ireland: Woman Shaming

I won’t go into our deep history of shaming women who found themselves pregnant out of wedlock, rape, or otherwise. These women forced into hiding in the past and their babies removed from them causing them endless hardship. They were treated as criminals and exiled from their own families. In a country so heavily influenced by the Catholic Church, many accepted this as the norm. Shaming women was the norm.

Today in Ireland

Right now as you read this, there are women travelling to the UK to have an abortion. Women like me. Women like you. There may be a woman who has been told that her child will be severely disabled when he/she is born and will have an extremely low quality of life. She has to travel to abort the feotus. There may be a 15 year old girl travelling with her mother who made a mistake. There may be a lonely woman who was raped and pregnant with her rapist’s child. There may be a woman already with children who financially cannot see how she could have another. 

There are so many different women that are forced to go to the UK. They don’t see any other option because they cannot give the life inside them the life they deserve on the outside. 

Pro Life

I always thought of myself as pro life. Right now women of Ireland are begging to repeal the 8th amendment to allow abortion in Ireland. I do not know all the facts on this. Before the media storm around repeal the 8th, I always thought that prevention avoids the need for abortion. I thought a woman that couldn’t see how she could give the baby inside her the life it deserves could give that baby up for adoption. I also believe that a life is a life. There is a life there once conceived and I don’t know how anyone can terminate such a life. But do you know what? I’m not the person doing it. 

It’s not me

I am not travelling to the UK to have an abortion. I am not the one that has to deal with it. There are women out there who need the choice. It’s only recently that I’ve changed my views. What if my daughter got pregnant at 14? What if I got pregnant in 5 years? What if the option to choose was not there? It doesn’t mean I would have an abortion but it gives the choice! I want my daughters to have the choice, I want women to have the choice. 

Repeal the 8th

Take care,

Reality Mammy xxx

Never use this word around a new parent

We all know, as mothers, fathers and people with common sense that life with a newborn is extremely difficult. You have sleepless nights, endless feeding as well as questioning your own sanity at the worst of times. You have those days when you wonder if you are doing the right thing or if you are damaging your child because you feel like you’re falling apart. These feelings don’t just happen at a newborn stage, they can lurk up on you when you least expect it. Continue reading

The Strength of a Working Mother

I have worked since I left school. That’s 17 years. I only stopped working outside the home when I was on maternity leave, 3 times. When my first was born, I put him in a crèche, at 5 months old when I went back to work. I had to earn money to contribute to the mortgage, simple as that. I longed to be at home with him but if I wanted to be able to keep a roof over his head, I had to work. Continue reading